:-)
The past few months have been a whirlwind of great news. Not on the economic front of course, but Philip's new baby boy, Jimmy's adoption of a beautiful little girl, Matt and his wife expecting their first child, not to mention the beautiful children Bolivar, Jimmy and Phil (not the same as Philip) already have!
All this got me thinking about friendships between men and particularly friendships between gay and straight men. (I was actually going to call this post "In Praise of the Straight Guy" but thought that was too provocative.)
Jimmy, Matt, Bolivar and Phil have been friends with me since freshman year in college. We met, if memory serves, at an ice cream social that first week in the dorms. I was still acting straight (** Cue cries of disbelief from the gays that anyone could have fallen for that act***)
As you do in college, we bonded over all-nighters, girlfriends (mostly theirs not mine), parents, careers and the like. This is not a coming out post, so suffice it to say that the "gay thing" was no big deal to any of them. If I remember correctly the exchange went something like this:
ME: I'm assuming you don't have any probem with me being gay right?
THEM: No. Where are we going to dinner?
And though I love them for making coming out so easy, that scene is not even in the top 10 of great moments that bonded us (FYI, after all these years I'm probably a little fuzzy on the details but the gist is there):
#10) At some point in college, my buddies and I all spent a couple weeks in "the Dungeon" -- a small 1-bedroom apartment in Berkeley. It had 2 windows, both of which looked out onto an embankment that went higher than the first story of the building, thowing the entire apartment into eternal twilight 24 hours a day. Due to a scheduling issue, Jimmy, Matt, Bolivar and I lived there together for 2 weeks before school started. The 1-bedroom had 3 twin beds that reached from one wall to the other, leaving only enough room to open the door -- IF the space wasn't occupied by dirty clothes and towels. Say what you will about fastidious gay men -- I am not one of them. Thank God the other guys had girlfriends so someone was always "tricking out."
#9) Sitting with Phil in the Dungeon talking about relationships (we had both ended relationships that week) and wanting to get a drink. (As we were only 19 at the time, executing that particular idea was more challenging then it is now.) We scoured the apartment and found an old bottle of tequila, which we mixed with Country Time lemonade--the kind that has no actual lemon juice in it. Two words -- Vomit Fest. It was the next day that we found out just how old the tequila was -- the tenants prior to the previous tenants had left it there and the bottle had never been thrown out. Ugh.
#8) First month at Cal, visiting San Francisco just across the Bay. We decided we want to get dinner, 9 of us want to go to Chinatown, one of us (me) wants to go to Fisherman's Wharf... we go to Fisherman's Wharf.
#7) Coming up with the word "SMAG" to describe a particular type of Asian guy at Cal. I still chuckle when I find a typo that spells that out. If memory serves, and if you must know -- Stud Master Asian Guy.
#6) Going with Phil, Steph and Janet to the city then Mill Valley in a borrowed car which broke down, stranding us in Mill Valley, leading to a night in a Travelodge (of which nothing more needs to be said) the calling Phil's roommate who was home in Mill Valley for the weekend to help us out.
#5) The unfortunate decision to stay out all night in SF freshman year which was the classic example of an idea that works better in theory than in fact.
#4) Making a list of everyone's phone numbers and parent's phone numbers after freshman year and having that piece of paper for the next 6 years taking it to DC, Paris, back to LA then to NY.
#3) Having everyone down to my parents place in LA the summer after freshman year. My parents were travelling in Japan and I had the whole house to myself.
#2) Watching a Twilight Zone marathon with Jimmy, then driving up Tightwad Hill, freaking out, then going for Korean food in SF. All between 2 AM and 6AM on morning. Best episodes - the one where the guy has the Devil locked in a closet and the one where there are little people living in a dollhouse.
#1) Crying at all of their weddings - except for Bolivar who can't seem to get married in this country. (Hey Bol!) and all of them giving me sh*t about getting married when it was legal in California.
So boys, I hope this little journey was as fun for you to read as it was for me to write. You guys are the best -- 22 years and counting!
For those of you who were with us on many of these adventures, thank you both for being there and also for keeping quiet about the things that should be kept quiet. ;-)
