Touching me, touching you

(Apologies to Neil Diamond)
A week or so ago I came across an old friend from high school on Facebook.  I hadn't thought of her in years, but seeing her picture brought back a rush of memories.

It was the 1984-1985 school year.  Frankly, I was many years from becoming the outspoken, outgoing person I am today. But this person was one of the major catalysts that got me started down that road.  If you can imagine it, I was pretty much your stereotypical Asian guy that year in high school; just focused on my academics and just enough extra curricular activities to ensure I'd get into a good school.

But internally there was a lot going on.  Lots of loneliness and overall alienation from high school in general.  But also there was a very real fight between the person I was and the person I wanted to be. Fortunately I was befriended by this wonderful person and started hanging out.  She was a senior (!) which made it all that much better.  And I slowly began to recognize that not only did I deserve to have what I wanted, but it was up to me to go out and grab it.

I've been so lucky to have met people at critical junctures in my life that have propelled me onward and upward.

- My mom and dad of course, who taught me the value of working hard.
- This person I mentioned above.
- Friends from Chamber Singers/show choir who gave me a sense of belonging -- which is so critical in high school.  (As a side note, I'd like to thank the choreographer of show choir who kept dragging me from the second row to be front and center.  He kept doing that so much that eventually I cam to crave being in the spot light.)
- My buddies from college - lifelong friends who taught me that friendship is about support but also about calling you on your sh*t.
- My best friend Jason, who gave me the final push and self-confidence to grab the life I wanted.

And finally Geoff who is the culmination of all this.  Who I love so much.  I don't think I would have had the nerve to go after the relationship if it wasn't for all those people who gave me a much needed push in my past.

Last year when I turned 40, I was going to do a series of thank you notes to people who have touched my life in some way.  This list is me revving up to do that.

But all this led me to think about whether I've played a similar role for anyone.  I'm not sure I have, but I'd like to think I did.

Have you?

(D-NY) or (R-NY) or (I-NY)

I've tried to keep my political rantings and ravings out of my posts on this blog.  Firstly because, there are so many other issues I'd like to explore.  Secondly, because I know i would be completely consumed by the back and forth sniping that passes for political discourse these days.

However, last weekend, a few friends suggested in all seriousness that I run for office, because of the passion I have for the issues.  And I mean all the issues - not just health care and cap&trade, but the the day to day legislation.  Finger Lakes designation as national park?  I got an opinion. Selling wine in grocery stores in NY?  I got an opinion.  Managing the flood of tourists in the West Village turning my neighborhood into a mall?  You BET I got an opinion, probably two of 'em.

That got me to thinking about what a Jonathan Saw candidacy and platform would look like.  I came to the conclusion it would be something that not even my closest friends would be entirely comfortable with.  Why?  Because despite what you may think from my demographics (Asian-American, college-educated; graduate school, urban resident, gay, 40) I'm don't really fit the mold of the urban liberal elites.  I'm pretty much your quintessential Rockefeller Republican - fiscally conservative, socially liberal (to a point).  

Now just which one of our two parties do you think someone with those viewpoints would feel most at home in?  If you said neither - you'd be right.

Let's take a look at the big social issues:

1) Abortion: I believe in choice.  The anti-choice zealots wrapping themselves in the language of "life" are bankrupt.  Money should be spent to inform our kids (and adults) of contraception.  However, I also believe that abstinence should be a part of the equation.  In addition, sex education should take into account both the overall community as well as the parents wishes.  How does this work in practice?  Let's take our great urban metropolises.  Parents should be able to opt out of sex education classes if there religion or beliefs does not permit a frank discussion of sexuality.  However these parents do not have the right to veto the ability of everyone else's children to receive that information.  Conversely, in the rural South,  Parents should have the right to have contraception (scientifically based education, not the crap that spews from anti-choice idiots) taught to their kids in the classroom, as an opt-in, even if the larger community wants abstinence only.

2) Gay marriage:  Clearly I'm all for this.  But I believe that getting the rights and responsibilities first is the critical first step.  We can argue semantics later.  Case in point, as we were losing the Prop 1 vote in Maine, Washington State voters were approving the "everything but marriage" legislation for gay couples.  Essentially, Washington voters were showing that people are willing to provide us the rights, but the word has too much baggage.  I realize this isn't a cure-all nor a substitution for full-marriage equality.  But I can't help but think that our daily lives would be better off if we had incremental rights all over the country.  We can start off with the biggies like medical decision making, inheritance, taxes and survivor benefits.  (Something, by the way, which could be passed in almost every state.)  Then we could have those states that are ready for "everything but marriage" laws as in California, Washington and New Jersey.  Following on that would be marriage itself, the rights, the responsibilities and the word.

3) Guns: We have enough laws.  But they need to be enforced.  Also, is it not possible to make a distinction between criminal use and non-criminal use?  Do we need to have bans? Closing the loopholes on current registration laws would nicely do the trick.  Then we can focus resources on getting gins out of the hands of criminals, as opposed to wasting time adding more and more restrictions on law-abiding gun owners.

4) Affirmative action:  Our efforts here are misplaced.  We need to spend more early on in the educational life of our kids, so that when they reach their final year of high school, the top performers also represent the percentage of their race in the population (give or take a few percentage points). AA is a necessary evil until this becomes a reality.  High school is too late to rectify over a decade of inequality and resources in education. Where would we find the money?  I say take it away from prisons.

Despite all of this, can you imagine if more people like me actually were in politics?  The kind of person who is interested in solutions and not just political points; the kind with the courage to point out and shout down the BS from both sides of the aisle; the kind who is more beholden to his constituents than his party!!!

Well, keep your eyes and ears open.  When you hear these slogans shouted from the streets, in emails, in mass mailings...  when people start asking you to become a fan or donate money, you'll know I've decided to take that plunge.

The big question is whether I'll have a D or R after my name.